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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25244689">And to Burn the Flames</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/matan4il/pseuds/matan4il'>matan4il</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>9-1-1 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Fluff and Smut, Edgeplay, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Established Relationship, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Smut, candle sex play, mentions of the fire truck bombing, porn with comfort</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 04:40:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,077</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25244689</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/matan4il/pseuds/matan4il</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>The wax drips onto the valley between Buck’s pecs and upon impact, he throws his head back, hissing. Eddie grins down at him and thrusts forward, only once, soaking up the string of curses that elicits.</i>
</p><p>
Or
</p>
<p>
It’s that date again, of the fire truck bombing. Eddie wants to take Buck’s mind off it and he’s not above using his knowledge of his boyfriend’s unfulfilled high school fantasy for that purpose.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>260</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>And to Burn the Flames</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/sibbed/gifts">adamngoodbatch (sibbed)</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/missjmelville/gifts">missjmelville</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Thank you so much to the incredible <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/nilshki/pseuds/nilshki">Nilshki</a> and <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToughPaperRound/pseuds/ToughPaperRound">Toughpaperround</a> who helped me with this fic!</p><p>
If you'd like to yell at me, ask me stuff or prompt me (trust me, I need the inspiration, especially for more smut), you can do so at <a href="https://matan4il.tumblr.com/">my Tumblr</a>.
</p>
<p>
Last shout out to Oliver's Twitter photos, for providing the visuals for yet another smut fic (you can find them posted with my other fic inspired by them, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24878884">It Will Last Longer</a>).
</p>
<p>
Lastly, dedicated to Deb and Jess, who always want more PWP in this fandom. xoxox</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The wax drips onto the valley between Buck's pecs and upon impact, he throws his head back, hissing. Eddie grins down at him and thrusts forward, only once, soaking up the string of curses that elicits. His cock is buried deliciously deep inside the engulfing heat of his boyfriend's body. Every time Buck jerks due to another drop of hot wax scorching his skin, he's unintentionally fucking himself back and forth on Eddie's dick. It's so agonizingly good, for both of them.</p><p>Not that candle sex play is so common among firefighters, but the other night they were in bed, enjoying some post-coital cuddling, when their hushed talk turned to high school memories. Stuff like, 'did you know back then' and 'when' and 'did anything eventually happen with that guy', which then also slipped into the territory of 'did you watch porn at the time' and 'what fantasies did you not yet get to play out'... It wasn't exactly porn, Buck shared, it was an erotic thriller he caught one late night on TV that made him wonder what it would be like, to have a go at sex with candles, because the scene struck him as incredibly erotic.</p><p>"You have got to be the only firefighter in the world with a fire hazard for a sex fantasy..." Eddie teased, while lovingly running the back of his fingers, the edge of his fingernails, over the side of Buck's face.</p><p>"There's a reason I haven't tried it out yet, I wouldn't trust just anyone with this. But I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one with this fantasy. There have to be at least two or three other firefighters like me out there."</p><p>"Mmm, yeah. Probably morons with a Superman complex and insane amounts of luck just like you. Idiots who forget that this shit is actually dangerous," Eddie kept going on, knowing his reproach carried no real bite when he couldn't stop caressing Buck's cheek or feeding off the way his boyfriend not so subtly pressed back against it, practically purring with content.</p><p>Drip.</p><p>The well-aimed wax hits a nipple and Buck arches off the bed, moaning, before he slumps back down onto both it and the dick nestled inside him. Eddie times his next single push inwards, lining it up perfectly with the moment his boyfriend's back hits the mattress. Buck groans at that like he's being physically speared through his core. When he rides the sensations out, Eddie leans down, one hand grabbing onto Buck's hip and the other carefully pulling away the hardened wax from the erect nub. His boyfriend is doing anything possible in order to thrash about despite Eddie's grip, so he resorts to calming Buck down by interlacing their fingers while he also bends down to smooth the stimulated areola with his tongue.</p><p>This is exactly how his hand was holding Buck's two years ago, when a pizzeria owner's son had decided to carelessly exact his revenge on the innocent by blowing up a random 118 fire truck. If the memory fills Eddie with barely containable horror, he can only imagine the depths to which this date shakes up Buck.</p><p>Because that's the meaning of terror attacks. They're a crack in the texture of life. There's a before and an after, without ever fully reconciling the two. It shatters the illusion that all people have in order to be able to carry on a normal life - that they are safe. That disaster strikes with a reason and a warning which the vigilant can see coming. The shattering of this false sense of security humans have is one that firefighters encounter daily on their calls, yet there usually is a reason, an explanation, something that has gone wrong and in hindsight makes the whole emergency preventable. Terrorists just strike. There are no alerts or signs, no misdeeds, there is nothing that ordinary people can do to stop such an attack from happening. And everything changes after that. Especially for people in their line of work, the harsh destruction of life's pseudo-safety can be devastating. It's hard for someone to run towards danger when the taste of their own mortality is still bitter on their tongue, reminding them of the ease and suddenness with which one deranged individual can end it all. Lots of first responders don't come back from that psychological fall, maybe a greater number than the ones who never return to the job due to physical injury.</p><p>Buck is different, though. He's stronger than most people. He cares like the whole world depends on it and is the most focused, driven person precisely because he does. For the most part, he hasn't allowed his attacker to take up residence in his head, pushed the possibility out with his almost inhuman determination to get back to the job he loves. Still, after they had gotten together, Buck had confessed to Eddie that when the date of the attack came by last year, he found himself feeling unquiet and low, unable to shake off the sounds and smells, the sensation of the firetruck pressing down into his leg like the weight could never be taken off.</p><p>So this year, Eddie wasn't going to let that happen again and if that's not a reason to dip into Buck's unfulfilled sexual fantasies... not that their sex life is ever exactly tame, but that's usually down to their stamina and the fact that they have so much craving, so much wasted time, to make up for. But tonight that's not enough and Eddie would do anything to get Buck out of his head, fire hazards be damned. His boyfriend came first, it was more important to calm him down, to make him focus his attention on everything he's feeling throughout his body, on Eddie, on being loved so much that Buck wouldn't possibly be able to contain it, let alone have room within him for anything else.</p><p>It's why he started with a massage, Buck lying on his stomach for it. No oils were involved of course, not when candles were next on the menu for them, but Eddie made sure to run his hands slowly and dotingly over every patch of skin in Buck's body, to undo every knot in his muscles. Eddie was skillfully applying just enough pressure with the balls of his thumbs to the flesh he was massaging, then soothed it over with his fingers and palms. Buck is an enthusiastic guy, which is something to be occasionally exasperated by, but more frequently, marvel at. A full body rub is no exception, which meant even before Eddie was really getting into it, his boyfriend was already giving himself over to it, his sighs short and soft, indicating which spots he enjoyed more attention on. Maybe it wasn't very surprising that they came out far more frequently as Eddie moved lower, towards the area of ass and thighs, but he wasn't going to comment on it. His own enjoyment may not have been the point of this, but if they both liked it when he indulged in working more on Buck's upper legs, then there was no down side to it. His favorite part was as he was pushing up from the back of the knees, pressing into flesh just enough that it forced his boyfriend to raise his hips a tiny bit off the bed, then spread his legs a hint more, pliantly making room for Eddie between them.</p><p>"Oh God," Buck mumbled, the side of his face squashed against the pillow, his eyes closed, leaving his beautiful birthmark to stand out. "You're way too good at this."</p><p>Eddie chuckled and asked teasingly, "Is this you being envious over my many talents again, like when I first got to the 118?" He accompanied that with a small smack to Buck's left buttock, not too much put into it, just enough to make the flesh jiggle a little. Fuck, his boyfriend has a great ass and Eddie couldn't wait to be inside him. But he wasn't going to rush it, as much as he might have liked to. His fulfillment was never the point. He came closer and kissed the slightly risen skin of the birthmark in the part underneath the eyebrow. Then he kissed Buck's nape, tenderly. He's never over how he's allowed to touch his boyfriend and feel him at his most exposed and vulnerable. Eddie painted a line of kisses going down along the spine, planting them where the skin rises and where it falls, where it's most sensitive. "Turn around," he didn't wait for a reply, he knew Buck would have some sort of a displeased comeback, but there were more important things on their agenda.</p><p>"Are you going to make it worth my while? Like, by not talking more shit about me?"</p><p>"We'll see," Eddie was practically humming his response, he was getting that excited himself for what was to come, for what he would be doing for Buck. Most of his life, he sought to have control over things and with the most important ones, he seemed to fail, they kept slipping from between his fingers and falling apart on him. His relationship with his parents, his marriage to Shannon, parenting Chris throughout the first part of his son's life. But this, he could do this. It wouldn't be just sex, it would be a perfect dance of intent and execution aimed to make the man he loves, the person who's helped change the tide for him, cope better. This would matter, even if he could never explain it to anyone.</p><p>Buck turned onto his back and as always, it left Eddie a little breathless. His boyfriend was looking up at him with this impossible mixture of angelic and sultry, his own fingers trailing over his abs, drawing circles that pointed Eddie's focus to Buck's belly button, playing with the hairs of the happy trail in that area. His cock was already hard from the touches and kisses during the massage and from the friction against the bed, his legs having fallen slightly open, much like everything else about his posture declaring that he doesn't mind being on display. That he welcomes it, the gaze that falls on it, the heat that has to take over his observer. Yet, there was something also so impossibly sweet and innocent in his eyes, in the way that he smiled up. For a second, Eddie remembered that all of the beauty his boyfriend holds might have been extinguished by the bomb and suddenly, all the air in the room still couldn't stop him from feeling like he was suffocating.</p><p>But that only made what they were doing more important. He wanted to keep those dreamy eyes shining, that smile which was turned up at him - relaxed. The urge took him and he bent down and kissed Buck for everything that they have already been to each other and for all the things yet to come. Because that's a part of what they were doing here: rebuilding between the two of them the belief that despite their full awareness of this world's dangers, there was yet so much good to come for them. That it was alright to look forward to and enjoy that.</p><p>Buck opened up to him and drew the kiss deeper. He always does this, adds more passion to all he's invested in. It's true during calls and with their friends, the way he loves Christopher or how quickly he allowed Eddie in despite some initial hostility. Damn, even that animosity was more about how he let Eddie under his skin right away, about how strongly Buck feels in every situation he's in. There was no way not to love him.</p><p>As they kissed, Eddie could sense Buck's hands coming up to hold him by the side of his face. His own arms were holding him up, palms planted by his boyfriend's head, but he drew back, put his weight on just one of them in order to free the other so he could run his fingers across those supple lips he's just been kissing.</p><p>"You know, right?" he asked. Because sometimes it was easier this way than saying the explicit words, trusting that Buck did know exactly what was being left unsaid, but also because in a way, the unexpressed is bigger, takes up more room, than that which is said. And he wanted his love for Buck to fill up everything between and around them.</p><p>Buck looked back up. "I do," he replied, closing his eyes and opening his mouth, letting the tip of his tongue come out and draw upon Eddie's fingers before taking them in. His boyfriend's own hand is clutching at the forearm still holding him up, where the muscles begin to strain from the effort of this position. "But you're going to show me," Buck added.</p><p>So Eddie did. He usually prefers prep using fingers, it's easier to control the motions, the speed, the depth of penetration. Not to mention reaching the prostate and hitting it enough times consecutively that there's shaking before they've even gotten started. But this night, Eddie needed to distract Buck, to throw a few curveballs his way, so he settled between those strong thighs that could easily crush a man and when he spread them to reveal Buck's hole, the first thing Eddie did was to kiss it. A small statement. There's not a single part of this man that he doesn't completely adore.</p><p>For easy access, he put those meaty legs over his shoulders and felt Buck's hands reach into his hair as he was lapping at his boyfriend's entrance. As soon as he established a rhythm of dipping in and pulling out to circle over the ring of muscles, he also started running his fingernails along Buck's thighs, playing between the inner and outer sides. His boyfriend was gasping, so Eddie could imagine exactly what he looked like, lips parted by those obscene sounds, eyes falling closed, lashes fluttering against the skin right above his flushed cheeks. Even just the memory-based image made Eddie want to curse and it came out as vibrations in and against Buck's opening.</p><p>"Shit," his boyfriend let out the expletive that he wanted to. The pressure in his hair grew as the fingers there tightened their hold. "Eddie, fuck, I'm..." Buck didn't have to finish his sentence, say how close he was, because Eddie recognized the signs and they all served as his cues to withdraw, so he did. </p><p>"Not so fast," he said as he towered back over Buck, grinning. "I've got a surprise for you." He bent over and opened the drawer of the bedside table, pulling out the lube that Buck favored, the candle Eddie had prepared in advance and a box of matches. The look on his boyfriend's face was incredible. It wasn't just one of delight over getting to explore a sexual fantasy. There was awe there, of someone not used to being attended and listened to when they finally are. It would have broken Eddie's heart to think of how Buck has never had that before, if it weren't for how certain he was that this would never be the case again. </p><p>Drop.</p><p>After the rimming, it didn't require much lube before Eddie could enter Buck and, while almost fully seated inside his boyfriend, start playing with the lit candle in his hand. Its flame flickers as he moves it, bringing it close enough to Buck's face for the man's breath to ghost across it. It might not have been the original intent, but Eddie enjoys doing this as the light falls softly across those beautiful features and he gets to admire the golden hues that exist in Buck and that the candlelight brings out.</p><p>The next target Eddie goes for is the clavicles. They're the reason he's constantly distracted whenever Buck wears a shirt with a lower cleavage line and he has no intentions of skipping them. One droplet at a time, he draws a line along them in wax and watches with fascination as his boyfriend's body is shaken by every single instance of impact. He's engulfed by the tremors where they're connected and has to bite down on Buck's shoulders to keep himself from giving into them and letting loose. This has to last long enough to be too encompassing for his boyfriend to sink into any painful thoughts, so Eddie can't afford to lose himself in how good Buck feels around him. He immerses himself in the sensation of his boyfriend reacting to the bite in quick succession after the candle drops, as well as the way Buck looks so engrossed in every stimulus rocking his body. Whenever it's too much to contain, Eddie grabs his boyfriend's hips, rolls his pelvis and pushes in once, with all of the pent up tension that he's got, forcing all of the steam inside him into this one motion to keep from losing control completely. He finishes this by once again peeling off the hardened wax strewn across Buck's chest, then running his fingers and tongue along the path of the now marked, sensitive skin, sucking passionately the dip at the center of it.</p><p>"Eddie..." it's a repeated soft groan, easy to miss at first when it's mixed in with constant moaning and writhing, with fingers twisting in sheets, occasionally desperately trying to grab at him, like some physical form of begging. For him to stop. For him to make it stop by doing it more, more intensely, more fully, taking the ride to its next level and towards completion. He's not going to do that.</p><p>"Still not done with you," he replies and begins dripping another route, this one heading south, crossing the planes of Buck's sensitive abs, which flinch at every drop, and continuing until it merges with the path of his happy trail.</p><p>"Oh, God," Buck breathes out right before the splash of wax hits him above his navel and his whole upper body jerks in reaction.</p><p>Eddie grins and considers jokingly replying 'welcome', but his hips and the need for more betray him, so instead he just fucks into his boyfriend, two thrusts this time when he wasn't planning on more than one.</p><p>"Yes," Buck grunts, but it hitches at the end as Eddie slides out of him a little, just enough to reach over,bend down and sink teeth into the flesh right above his belly button. They're both sweaty and trembling, a mess of want kept at bay. Buck's hands dig into anything they happen to come across, a tossed aside pillow, his own hair, Eddie's back... He keeps trying to get more as well, more friction on his neglected cock, trapped between them, more movement inside him, but the solid weight pinning him down keeps denying him getting too much of what he's obviously craving.</p><p>Eddie runs his tongue, flat and rough, along Buck's skin, traveling along the paths he's marked, before he teasingly runs a finger along the right side's v line. His boyfriend's looking up at him, biting into a swollen lip. It's as if he's wondering if this is real, what they've done so far and the promise of that prolonged touch. Eddie reassures him it all is by next dripping the candle right over that line.</p><p>Buck whimpers and pants at that, crashing their pelvises into each other in a frantic attempt that borders on devastation. "Eds, for fuck's sake. Would you fuck me for real already?"</p><p>"Are you sure you want this to be over already?" Eddie looks at his boyfriend. Buck returns the gaze, but his eyes are hooded with need, appearing almost as if he's on the verge of sobbing with how much all of this is turning out to be. "Okay. If you do, if you really want that,"  Eddie curves his fingernail carefully through the dried wax he's left on that tempting deep line descending from Buck's hip, lightly scratching the skin underneath and causing his boyfriend's torso to stutter in response, "then why don't you fuck yourself on my dick?" </p><p>He moves his weight from leaning down on Buck's body to his own legs, to give his boyfriend some space and mobility, extinguishing the candle and placing what's left of it in a metal tray he prepared in advance and left on the bedside table.</p><p>For a second nothing happens, but as it turns out, the invitation doesn't have to be extended a second time. After briefly staring uncomprehendingly, Buck's brain catches on and without even bothering to reply, he raises his legs a bit and wraps them more tightly around Eddie's waist, pulling him in. As if that's not enough, Buck places his palms against the headboard of the bed, pushing against it for even more leverage. Eddie knew he managed to drive his boyfriend a little crazy, but he only realizes to what a degree when the pace that is set for them ends up being more frenzied than he anticipated. It tells him everything about just how deeply the enactment of this fantasy was effective for Buck. </p><p>Eddie means to keep himself balanced on his legs throughout, but very quickly that goes to hell. The rhythmic motions of Buck spearing himself on Eddie's dick, powerfully slamming them together, ass against hips, makes him lose his equilibrium. He finds that he's holding his upper body from crashing down with one hand against the headrest as well, stretched over Buck, hovering above his face and taking in the beauty of his boyfriend's strength and single-mindedness. It's with wonder that it sinks in for Eddie, that he gets to feel Buck moving and contracting around his shaft, too fast to be fully processed, and to watch the minute changes in his boyfriend's expression as an orgasm draws near. He wants to be a bigger part in it, so he trails his free hand down to Buck's erection, meets every pull at his torso with his own push and closes his lips over those of the man he adores.</p><p>They both end up coming into the kiss, just seconds apart.</p><p>Eddie has nothing left to hold himself up, so he half collapses onto Buck's chest, replacing their previous kiss with a bunch of quick, tender pecks to the spots where the marks from the candle are still very much visible.</p><p>"I know what you were doing, by the way," Buck mumbles. "You're not very subtle."</p><p>"Oh?" Eddie's not sure what to say to that.</p><p>"Mmmm. Thank you." his boyfriend chuckles, a little out of breath still. "That definitely did the trick, I'm too exhausted now to think about anything."</p><p>Eddie listens to his heightened heartbeat, slowly calming down. "I didn't want to say anything. Just in case I guessed wrong and it wasn't on your mind, I didn't mean to put it there."</p><p>Buck's running his fingers up and down Eddie's arms, along the muscles' contours. "You didn't put those thoughts there. They're always going to be, you know? And it's not on you to drive them away for good or fuck me into oblivion any time you suspect they might come up. Although..." his tone turns a shade more playful. "I don't mind you trying," he finishes with a grin. </p><p>Eddie chases that smile with a kiss, eager to drink it in. He takes his time, they swirl around each other's mouths, going in and out and back in. It's unhurried and grateful, savoring what they have. When he eventually pulls back, he's looking at a very content Buck and there's no better sight in the whole world. </p><p>"No, I know, I can't change that it happened and we're both going to have to live with that. But I can do my best to make you remember other things. More important ones." Eddie holds on to the side of his face, tries to testify to his sincerity with his eyes and his touch as much as with his words. "That you're loved and that I'm always here for you. With you. And if you ever think about these things and I'm not here, you can hold on to moments like this, okay? Because I want you to always remember. You're never alone."</p><p>Eddie's still inside Buck. They lean their foreheads against each other and close their eyes. It feels like they are one. Never alone.</p>
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